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Conference
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1997-10-22
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THE CONFERENCE
Time for a new section in RIPMAG, a kind of get together with a few
friends, just to have a general natter over the modem lines, as you
would in a pub, so here is this issues conference, to be featured
each issue, the people in the conference are:
Dan Wood on a CD³² with an SX-32 with a 68030, and a hard disk etc.
linked to the phone line to do this.
Arnie Finen using an A4000/060T (always makes me type it EXACTLY like that
ya know). At work, doing bugger all.
Debbie (Dan's little sister) at his parents place ('cos she lives there)
Using Dan's old A500, which is still in the spare room, and she's
bored, so we let her on.
Nicky Anderson (me!) on an A1200 at his little dingy flat, hehe. And eating
pork chops... or something.
Bendy Wendy will be on about half way through, she's here next ish as well.
Anndd finally (it has happened to me, right in front of my face..ahem!)
Sleazy Steve all those many miles up there (not there! eeh) on an Amiga
Technology A1200, which would be an Amiga International A1200 had he just
bought it, but he didn't, so there.
Right, on with the show!
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//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
DAN: Right! Today's milk-shake flavour is "Kite" as in high as!
++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
ARNIE: Hi Danny boy
DAN: Hi Arnie man, others all say hello now!
NICK: Hello
STEVE: hello
DEB: hello now
DAN: how funny. Right, well, back here again huh? Long time no speak
folks.
NICK: Yeah, sad news about Princess Diana huh?
DAN: Yeah.
ARNIE: Oh please don't start, yeh it was a tragedy, but I'm BORED TO TEARS
OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAN: Um.. ok.
NICK: But about that, one thing I did notice was all those people who
slagged her off last week before she died, this week are all saying "ooh,
she was a wonderful woman!".
DAN: Yeah, well when some one dies, you always look back on the good things
they did don't you? Like you go to a funeral for example, and you read a
speach, if you didn't think much of that person, you don't stand up and say
"ok people, well what can I say? He was a bit of a tosser wasn't he?!", no,
you show a bit of compassion and respect.
ARNIE: But heard what Kernal Gadafee (or how ever you spell that dick head's
name), he reckoned that MI5 did it, and it was an inside job! That the
royal family couldn't bear her marrying an arab!
DAN: Hehe, well that's just him 'aint it.
NICK: Died young though
DAN: Well that seems to be always the case with the BIG stars doesn't it?
Diana, Elvis, John Lennon, Buddy Holly etc. An uncanny pattern actually.
ARNIE: Yeh actually it is.
NICK: How did you hear about it Dan?
DAN: Last Saturday night i came in about 11:30 PM, after being at a friends
house, and I came in, and was a bit bored actually, so I put the computer on
and went on the Web for a bit, and for the first time since about last
November I went on an internet chat page!
ARNIE: Sad git, haa haa!
DAN: Aww shucks. But I'd forgotten how funny they can be actually, any way,
I put the TV on with the sound down in the corner, and noticed that there
was a bit logo in the bottom corner "BREAKING NEWS", this was about 1AM, and
I turned the volume up, and heard that she'd been in a car accident, and
then I turned it down again thinking, "Making a bit of a fuss aren't they?
Big deal she'll probably have scraped her arm or something". So I got back
to the chat thing, and then decided to get some stuff from the Aminet, and
while I was downloading a big 1M file I put the volume back up and heard
that Dodi was dead, and I remember thinking "wow, seems more serious that i
thought, Diana is gonna be heart broken when she gets better". Then "Murder
She Wrote" came on, and I've always liked that show (yeah Arnie I am a sad
git! :) so I sat down and watched that, and it was stopped half way through
(wonder if her book got made into a film?..hmmn) and then they were showing
more pictures of the car (for the 10,000th time) and I was switching for
Channel3-North-east to BBC1 every now and then to see what was happening on
each one. And then I switched to CNN for a bit, then back to BBC1 and then
the guy just paused for a second and said "we are now receiving un-confirmed
reports that priness Diana has died, please remember as yet these are
UN-CONFIRMED reports", and I thought "WHAT?! HER?!" so I went back to C3
and a minute later they also announced it, and that royal reporter they had
on talked about it, they received more reports from about 3 places saying
the same stuff, and then the guy said "well it is looking more and more
likely", and then I thought"man, she really is dead". That's how. Quite
shocking.
NICK: Yep. I heard when I got up about 10 AM. But you followed it all
through as it happened?
DAN: Yes, the sad thing is I knew before her kids did.
ARNIE: Her Maj didn't say nothing did she?
DAN: The Queen? No, that's because you know what the crappy papers are like
they would have twisted what she said and called her a hypocrite wouldn't
they?
ARNIE: I guess
DAN: So her advisors will have advised her to be quiet about it.
ARNIE: Wonder what that news was Diana had? She said about a week before
she died that she had some news that would change the whole world. Guess
we'll never know now!
DAN: No, she took that to her grave, maybe something about the mines.
ARNIE: Hmmn.
NICK: The thing that sickens me is the reports that the photographers that
were chasing them, when they crashed, they fought over who was going to take
the photo of Diana lying there in the back of the car.
DAN: Yeah, well we've heard reports that said these pictures are flying
around. But no paper would dare buy them if they are there. But it
is a really sad thing, for the past 16 years she was constantly
photographed, EVERYWHERE she went, and probably her last conscious memory was
of a camera flash.
NICK: Yes very sad.
ARNIE: But the way the country is reacting is unbelievable!
DAN: Well yeah, as if people knew her personally, people have been breaking
down in tears, there's help lines set up, people who are distraught and
can't continue their lifes, it is ironic how people are reacting.
ARNIE: But she was everywhere, this beutiful woman married to the future
king etc.
DAN: I know, but she was glamarous, but she wasn't that attractive, about
average looking I'd say. But yeah stand her next to Charles, who, to be
fair is a bit of a dog's bum in the looks department, I'm sure he's a really
nice man, but he's no looker. Like stand Nick next to The Hunch-Back from
Notrodame and, well.... old Quazzers looks like Keuau Reeves :)
NICK: HEY!
ARNIE: Haaaa
DAN: Sorry Nicky :) I've just heard that the Queen is actually doing
a public speech on Friday
ARNIE: Oh right, on tv?
DAN: Yeah I think so.
ARNIE: I saw prince William on the TV today looking at the messages, and his
little brother started crying, I felt so sorry for them though
DAN: Yeah, it's tough.
ARNIE: Dan, you honouring the one minute silence on Saturday?
DAN: Yeah, you know why?
ARNIE: Why?
DAN: I'll be asleep :)
ARNIE: ahh.
DAN: But any way, moving onto other issues!
ARNIE: Yeh something I wanted to ask you, this paedophile registar that they
were thinking of, what do you reckon? Should they put their names in the
papers etc.
DAN: No.
ARNIE: oh, alright, any explination?
DAN: Ok, the only reason there would be any need to put their names and
addresses in the paper would be if they still pose a threat to children ok?
And if they still pose a threat, then they shouldn't be released, simple as
that. Plus, you know what would happen if they did publish names and
addresses, that person's life would be hell, they'd have their windows put
through etc, and that would make them so much more bitter, that they
wouldn't give a shit, they have no hope of getting back to a normal life, so
what's to stop them going out and doing it again? They're been treated as
if they are any way.
ARNIE: OK dan.
STEVE: just the usual team here today then?
DAN: Yes, all the 'extras' who crop up now and then, are not here. So it's
wonderful 'aint it?
STEVE: Yes, miss natalie though, but hello debbie
DEB: hey steve
DAN: Gotta say thanks to Greg in Liverpool who e-mailed me, it was
wonderful, would have even better if I had a clue what the hell you were
talking about.
ARNIE: haaaa
DAN: And who else, um, yeah, Paul, Angie, Richard, Karl, Gary, KV EVIL
BASTARD (?!?!), Bobby, Jerry, Wayne, Simon, Mike, James, Ian, Martyn and
every one who emailed us with nice comments about the disk. Thanks people
we appreciate it.
NICK: We do?
DAN: Hehe, yes we do!
NICK: Ok
DAN: Nicky boy is taking over next disk again aren't you, while I jet set
off to the USA in November?
NICK: Yes, my second time doing this, I'm gonna be the main man
DAN: Yes and for that very reason, Deb's not gonna be here :)
DEB: no thats not why
DAN: Hehe
NICK: I know, I've got some other people lined to to replace you
DAN: Wow, you work fast man.
NICK: Never had any complaints!
DAN: I bet, speed is of the essence huh?
NICK: Yeppers
DAN: Yeppers... hehe, what a dill weed
NICK: Thanks
DAN: What is a dill weed any way? Beavis and Butthead say that all the
time.
NICK: I can use my imagination
DAN: Erm..... yeah... urgh!
NICK: Dan when's Daft Punk's next single out?
DAN: Very soon, it's from their album.
NICK: Right.
DAN: You like Daft Punk don't ya?
NICK: Love em
ARNIE: Me to
DAN: Agree, they're cool. They kicked ass at V97
NICK: They did I know.
ARNIE: You and Nick go I persume?
DAN: Yeah we did, to both days.
ARNIE: Get a tent huh?
DAN: Hehe, maybe....
ARNIE: Haaaa
STEVE: You didn't
DAN: SO?! Big deal we camped out.
ARNIE: Did yaz have a little canoodle?
DAN: Hahah, I DON'T THINK SO! I'd rather french kiss a skunk!
NICK: I'd rather french kiss a skunks arse!
ARNIE: OK just checking
DAN: Cheeky OLD fart.
++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
ot that old!!
DAN: Hehe, but still old enough to tell me to F' off?
ARNIE: Sorry luv
DAN: Arnie, people will talk.
NICK: Now who looks like the suspicious one?
DAN: hmmnnnnn.....
ARNIE: Hang on Dan, you're going away AGAIN?!!!!!!!!!?!?!??!!!!!!
DAN: Yeah
ARNIE: How many holidays is that this year!!!!
DAN: Haha, will be 4! I go to Ibiza the day after tommorow
ARNIE: Ahhh!!
DAN: But that's for free.
ARNIE: Kiss in Ibiza?
DAN: Give it a free plug why don't ya? Yeah should be good.
STEVE: How you going for free?
DAN: A good friend of mine works for one of the Kiss stations, and I'm going
with him.
STEVE: Which kiss station?
DAN: 102 in Manchester
STEVE: Is he a presenter there?
DAN: Could be...
STEVE: Right, who?
DAN: Not saying.
STEVE: Damn, so if I tell him I know you maybe I could go next year?
DAN: Don't hold your breath, actually.. do hold your breath, that'd be quite
amusing.
STEVE: Ok here goes.....
ARNIE: Speaking of such things, Dan you playing out at any more clubs soon?
You haven't gotten me in on a freebie for ages!
DAN: Man, all these people use me for is freebies, it's sickening!
ARNIE: hhaa, answer the question
DAN: none planned, I'm not a big club person. I've done it in the past at a
few, but none planned for the future as yet, but probably will end up doing
some over the winter.
AR++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
DAN: Yes I was going to, but they couldn't afford me
ARNIE: Oooh pricey are we?
DAN: Certainly darling :) hehe.
ARNIE: Excellentaa!
DAN: I'm knackered, I've done nothing but sleep this week.
NICK: Who with?
DAN: Just me, but I haven't even been up 12 hours yet, 11 hours and 34 mins
in fact, and I'm almost falling asleep on the keyboard.
NICK: Just a lazy sod arent you
DAN: Yes
NICK: Damn screen has funny lines on it
DAN: Hit it
NICK: That your professional advice?
DAN: Yep, if in doubt, give it a clout! :)
NICK: HEY!!!! IT WORKED!!!
DAN: See.
NICK: Wow! How much do I owe you for that?
DAN: 18 million pounds.
NICK: Hey you nearly charge as much a++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
AN:
DAN: Hehe, don't say that! Any way slave boy, you got our web site running
yet?
NICK: Not quite, it's getting there
DAN: Well hurry up, I'm giving the address of it out to people and in here,
and it's not working yet, you're the lazy sod!
NICK: I'll endevor to get it done as soon as I can
DAN: Be arsed...
NICK: No I'll work on it tommorow then, hows that.
DAN: You better.
NICK: I will, quit bugging
DAN: Right, but get it done.
ARNIE: What you doing Friday dan?
DAN: Bugger all, and Saturday as well, having nice quiet nights in front of
the TV
ARNIE: Come to Gatecrasher with us lot
DAN: Who's going? (private business on here again, sorry people!)
ARNIE: Karen, David, Andrew, Dicky, Kelly, Sarah, and the usual team
DAN: Hehe, no thanks.
ARNIE: Fine be a boring git
DAN: I will thanks! Is rain coat woman going?
ARNIE: Haaa yeh she is
DAN: Then I'm definately not
ARNIE: She's alright
DAN: To you maybe, hehe, she *hates* me.
ARNIE: Its nothing personal dan, we all hate you :-)
DAN: Oh there's a point... :) I'm still not coming though
ARNIE: OK, and your not going to the club either?
DAN: Oh hardy harr
ARNIE: Hard what?
DAN: Matron! By the way, if there was one thing I could change about me
it'd be my f'ing teeth! Arghh! That bastard filling has come out AGAIN!!
ARNIE: Haaa how many times now?
DAN: 4!!
ARNIE: Ouch
NICK: See Amiga Computing went down huh?
DAN: Yeah, down to only two Amiga mags now, getting worrying!
NICK: I've gotta think me up an alias
DAN: Uh huh. Ok, why do you want one?
NICK: 'Cos every one else seems to have one!
DAN: I do when I'm "playing out" sometimes, I have a 'stage' name, but in
every day life unless you have a name like "Herbert Albertson" (hehe) or
something then no need to change it, my name's alright.
ARNIE: Yeh, I use this name for publicity and when I do videos, and TV
production.
DAN: Yeah, you don't give your real name on credits and on here do you?
ARNIE: No, so then I know what its connected with, if some one asks or
writes to "Arnie Finen" then I know its business related, if its my real
name then its a personal matter,
DAN: Yup Ok, whats it worth not to give your real name out
ARNIE: A punch in the face
DAN: Hehe, ok.
ARNIE: You know I've got a degree right?
DAN: Yes, stop bragging :)
ARNIE: I wish I'd done computers
DAN: Do ya?
ARNIE: Yeh, like i've been using them since I was about 8, and like, devoted
like my life to them, and I've got no proof on paper that I have done this,
like the longest course ever in computers! 16 year course!!
DAN: Hehe, yeah, long one.
ARNIE: So's the course!
DAN: Smutty beast, hey you know who's b/day it is soon dontcha!
NICK: Me perhaps?
DAN: Yep, that time of year again, we've got something evil planned this
year.
NICK: Ohh not again!!!!
ARNIE: Haaa we have, a REAL cracker mate!
NICK: Dan I let you off last year, this December you get twice what I get
DAN: Hehe, I'm trembling! October 14th readers, send Nick a card!
NICK: DAN DAN DAN is RIP-Groove coming back out?
DAN: The mix from "Tuff-Jams" is being released as a single along with some
additional mixes yeah.
NICK: Cool.
STEVE: YEAH! I'd been meaning to tell you this, you want to know who
I think looks just like a younger version of debbie?
DEB: of me?
STEVE: yea
DAN: Who?
STEVE: I dunno what the shows called but its a kids tv show with a girl
who has magic powers and can shrink into things and stuff and she usually
has a cap on.
DEB: ha ha ive seen that Alex something
STEVE: Yes thats her name
DEB: like me?
STEVE: Yeah i reckon you looked just like her a couple of years ago
DAN: I've never seen it
DEB: i guess maybe a bit
STEVE: spitting image Debbie!
DEB: okay what ever you say
STEVE: heh heh she does look like you a few years ago.
DEB: okay then
STEVE: Dan which country has the ugliest women on Earth?
DAN: Australia
STEVE: he heh do they?
DAN: Oh yeah, I've never seen a good looking Australian girl, and I've seen
quite a few
STEVE: Well on Prisoner there all mooses and in neighbours they are all
pretty bland, apart from that Sarah but shes from England, and on Home and
Away I reckon Shannon was the only nice one.
DAN: Hey she's from England as well
STEVE: Really?
DAN: Really.
STEVE: Alright then Auzzie is full of mooses!
DAN: Well said.
STEVE: Wierd though, i'm not gay or nowt but the boys over there are alright
DAN: :) Ok, "I'm not gay honest!"
STEVE: I'm not!!
DAN: Hmnnnnnnnnnnnn..... are you sure?
STEVE: Sure! I think Debs the sexiest cutest girl EVER!!!
DAN: Hehe, ok I was only teasing.
DEB: thats so nice
DAN: Yeah, flattery will get him everywhere right?
DEB: maybe
STEVE: Everywhere!!??
DEB: lol
DAN: Sod off with those crappy acronyms!!!
DEB: Sorry!
DAN: So you should be!
DEB: i'm not really
DAN: Don't push it Barbie! :)
D DAN: Ahh!
++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
DAN: haha, telling me to fornicate off, indeed!
DEB: well dont call me barbie
DAN: Hehe, ok..sorry....Sindy
++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
DAN: Ahh! Ok both stop!
NICK: Isn't the Barbie song crap?
DAN: Hehe, certainly is
ARNIE: Barbie has released a song?
NICK: Yes Dans got it on CD, whens it out?
DAN: October 13th
ARNIE: Whats it like?
DAN: Kind of a euro-pop/dance tune, it's funny though, but ahem, it's
starting to grow on me, it's quite catchy "I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie
wooorrlldd"
NICK: Plastic fantastic huh?
DAN: Matron! :)
NICK: You like it?!
DAN: Erm....
NICK: Ha ha!!! Arnie you were right, his taste in music is crap! Ha ha ha
ha!
DAN: Fat git.
NICK: Ha okay don't get offensive
DAN: You meanie :)
NICK: "Kiss 102 record break!"
DAN: Yeah, thanks.
NICK: Who owns them any way?
DAN: Faze FM/Faze Two, they just licence the Kiss logo, but enough of such
boring anoracky stuff!
NICK: But first: www.compura.com/nick-abbot
DAN: Oh man, quit giving that man plugs on this disk!!!!
NICK: Hes cool
DAN: Hehe, yeah right.
NICK: You don't like Nick Abbot?
DAN: I've heard him a few times, he's alright, but you listen religiously
NICK: Yep everynight on Virgin and now I stay in Saturdays b/cause hes on
Talk Radio until 10 PM
DAN: Well...what ever you like! You're becoming worrying.
NICK: No just sad
DAN: Hehe, ok. Arnie put your trousers back on!!
ARINE: hhaaa oh sorry.
STEVE: eh?
DAN: Hey Channel 5 interferes with some of my CD³²s ya know.
STEVE: You use a TV with em?
DAN: Some of them, of course, can't afford 6 monitors!
NICK: You've never told us what on earth possesed you to get 6 cd32s!!
DAN: Well I've had this one, the upgraded one, since last summer, and I got
another two when my audio CD players went down, so I had three, and as audio
players they're damn good, and cheap, I could get them for £45! So I was
going to buy another two to use when I'm travelling about, just to carry to
places where I might need them, like radio 'editing' studios, you'd be
amazed how many don't even have a CD player in them, so you've gotta bring
your own stuff with ya, so I was bought two more, and he had one left in
stock so let me have it for free, 'cos it had faults, the lid hinge was
faulty so the lid didn't stay open, the back had a crack in it, and it was a
bit scratched, so I felt sorry for it :) Hehe, so I took that as well, and
thats why I have 6 of 'em alright?
NICK: Okay
ARNIE: Noticed all these old artists are making small comebacks?
DAN: Like who?
ARNIE: Crystal Waters did a song last year, C C Penniston did a song
recently, and so did Yazz
DAN: Yeah, and it's Ce Ce Peniston by the way
ARNIE: Haa not double N?
DAN: No
ARNIE: So she has a name with the male bouncy bit in it?
DAN: Haha, yeah.
ARNIE: Swearing, three classes of swearing, Class 1 - Non offensive (say it
to your parents), Class 2 - A bit more offensive, Class 3 - Very offensive,
what goes where?
DAN: Hmmnn, ok class 1. Umm, arse, bloody,
STEVE: bollocks
DAN: crap, dick, tit, bugger, bitch... erm....
ARNIE: ok what about class 2?
DAN: Shit
NICK: Bastard
ARNIE: That all?
DAN: All I can think of
ARNIE: Alright, class 3
NICK: He can I say, twat
DAN: Ahh! I'd rather you didn't!
S++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
DAN: Yeah that's class 3, the F word, and the C word. Wierd though, you
noticed words like the word Nicky said the T word (don't repeat it!) and the
words steve said, the C word, are all refferring to the female, erm..
anatomy and are considered MAJORLY offensive, but words like, dick and
bollocks are totally un-offensive and accepted in every day conversation,
and you can call some one a tit head, no one gives a damn, so wierd huh?
And most swear words are about sex or bodily parts, so an activity or bodily
parts, but if I call Arnie an F'ing C*** (which I often do :) it's really
offensive, the worst right. But if I call you a running finger-nail then
it's the same type of meaning, but laughably tame.
ARNIE: Heard what Ulrika Johnnson said?
DAN: She goes out with her boyfriend 'cos he has a big one?
ARNIE: Yeh
DAN: Ok, what ever turns her on. But you've gotta congratulate Ulrika, at
least she's honest!
ARNIE: Well yeh too many women are these days! I liked the old way better
"I like him because hes intelligent" haaa
DAN: Yeah.
ARNIE: Any way hows the car?
DAN: Ok
ARNIE: Just making sure, i had to pay for mine, wish my company gave me a
car!
DAN: Oh you have to kiss arse :)
ARNIE: Well you're coming to work with me soon aren't you, so you can give
me some pointers
DAN: Yeah, point this!.... does that work?
ARNIE: No, accents, whats your worst one?
DAN: Erm... Birmingham, you have to be thick to be from Birmingham, hehe,
OOOHHH! ;P
STEVE: Better go into hiding Dan-o
DAN: Don't call me Dan-o only one person can call me Dan-o
STEVE: Her eh?
DAN: Yeah.
ARNIE: Do you think you can tell class from an accent?
DAN: Maybe thats part of it.
ARNIE: But accents change, like the way you say things, I say CLASS as you
spell it, where as you say cl-arse don't ya?
DAN: hah, ARSE yeah, so sue me!
ARNIE: Not complaining, just saying.
DEB: I say class like arnie
NICK: Me to
STEVE: and me
DAN: I feel all left out now
ARNIE: Nah just you, you posh twat
DAN: Hey! Don't say the T word! Yeah, I'm so posh, haha, are we talking
about the same person?!!
ARNIE: Dan i was doing you favours trying to boost your level in society,
get you some more birds
DAN: Birds? That's disgusting! What like pigeons, and sea-gulls?
ARNIE: Alright, women then
DAN: Oh, no thanks
ARNIE: Got enough eh you smarmy git?
DAN: Enough? Oh yeah, millions, hehe, I dunno, there are some poor
misguided females out there who seem to like me, but hardly as many as
you'd like to make out me thinks.
ARNIE: Well you got 27 valentines cards, that says a lot man!
DAN: Right, let me FINALLY settle this, haha, 5 of them were from the same
girl! 6 of them were from MALES hahaha (I'm REALLY hoping they were a joke,
but who'd sign a card "lover boy" hehe), about 7 were my stupid sisters friends
who she will have told to do that (I'm 99% sure of that), so whats that.
5+6 = 11, + 7 = 18, right, 27 cards, 9 left, 2 were anonymous, 2 were from
people who have never met me, 1 was from "her" who sends them to EVERY ONE
like Xmas cards, so that REALLY means I got 4 valetines cards!!!
ARNIE: Haaa wow your unpopular!
DAN: Tell me about it, people hate me!
ARNIE: Well we can quit with the Mr Teesside nick name then
DAN: Certainly can, take it and shove it up your <insert bodily hole of
your choice>
ARNIE: Insert?
DAN: Ahem.
ARNIE: Alright I've been looking at past conferences and we paint a DAMN
fine picture of you in the past, what about the money?
DAN: Hehe, alright, the car (BMW :) is a COMPANY car like you said, I
didn't buy it, I do get a good wage, not gonna deny that, but I work in like
FOUR industries, radio, video production (same as you isn't it fun?),
computers, and telecommunications, and I have done production and P.R so
it's a lot to do man! Even if they aren't all at once. They only come
around a few times a month, usually different things each week, and that
includes over-nights and week ends. But I'm coming to work with you for
a month soon, which will be...interesting
ARNIE: I'm getting more wages than you now, so I'm the rich bastard! haaaa
DAN: Been promoted haven't you, lucky sod.
ARNIE: Yes, £770 a week suits me nicely
DAN: Eeeh, makes ya sick :) Alright. Want to swap jobs?
ARNIE: No thanks ragger
DAN: Haha, hey I've just had a new drive put on the front, cost me 3 grand.
Sheesh, but it looks nice, so it's alright.
ARNIE: Pocket change to me sweety
DAN: Ahh shut up. Any way, Nick seriously how far
EXACTLY have you got with our web site?
NICK: Well the logo is on the title screen...
DAN: Oh you sod, I'm gonna have to tell people now, all through this issue
there are ads for the web site, but it probably won't be fully up and runing
until our Xmas issue knowing Nicky boy.
NICK: I'll get it done, promise, a bit bland to start with, but I'll
EVENTUALLY get pictures and stuff on.
DAN: Better get a good one of me
NICK: I'll try.
DAN: Any way, shut up, Wenders is coming on now
NICK: Good
DAN: Give me un seconda....
DAN: Right,
WENDY: hello dan!
DAN: Lovely, you work
WENDY: certainly do!
ARNIE: Hello you mound of blubber!
WENDY: a++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
!!!!!
DAN: Hahahaha, yeah Arnie, DO ONE!
WENDY: i didnt know you could show a man with a hard on!
DAN: wh, haha, what?
ARNIE: Like you've ever seen one!
WENDY: Of course, but in porno mags they can't show a mans willy with a hard
on!
DAN: Well they can't on TV, but in some mags they can now. But in the next
few years I expect they'll ditch the rule any way, it's not considered
offensive or particularly shocking these days.
WENDY: Ye because it only really looks sexy hard
DAN: Does it?
WENDY: Well it can be nice looking er floppy
DAN: Hahaha
WENDY: but looks more sexy erect there i used scientific terms
DAN: Ok,
WENDY: But you get nice ones and ugly ones, i've seen some really horrible
ones
DAN: Reeaalllyy.
WENDY: yes like one ball lower than the other and all wrinkled urgh
DAN: Ok ok, haha, enough of your past experiences.
WENDY: but have seen some nice firm smooth ones
DAN: ENOUGH!! Geeze, you're gonna get us a bad reputation!
ARNIE: Gonna have to wipe the seat shes on now!
NICK: Oh man!!
DAN: Hahahaha, I MISSED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only just got what he meant,
hahaha, you stupid idiot.
ARNIE: Its ok! Rab C Nesbitt said that at 9:30
DAN: Hehe, sorry readers, he didn't mean it.
ARNIE: I did.
W++++++++++++++RIPMAG++++++++++++++
DAN: Ok.
WENDY: Is a bit of a dirty sod isnt he
DAN: Certainly is.
DEB: i only just got that as well
DAN: A bit slow you and me, argh, you don't want to hear that, cover your
eyes.
DEB: okay
DAN: You to Steve and any under 18 year olds, this is virtually obscene.
STEVE: Oh nor I love it!
DAN: Yeah I bet.
ARNIE: Speaking of which I know some one who models smimming trunks
DAN: Right, do we want to hear this?
ARNIE: No just saying he has to wear elastic bands
DAN: ..... ha, elastic bands?
ARNIE: Yeh to lift up and push out
DAN: Oh I see, well I was right, we didn't want to hear that.
STEVE: Dan ever seen debbie naked
DAN: Hahaha
DEB: oh steve you are sick
DAN: That's disgusting, no way have I, and I don't want to either.
Now subject change please, before we turn into a porno mag.
ARNIE: haaa OK
STEVE: Just checking.
NICK: Dan, fave dance tune of the moment?
DAN: Erm, Partay Feeling by B-Crew. The Colour Systems INC mix and
More's vocal mix.
ARNIE: I've got that on an album
DAN: Access All Areas?
ARNIE: 2 yeh
DAN: Right.
WENDY: Guess whos coming to see me tonight?
ARNIE: Ra Ra Rasputin?
WENDY: Yes
DAN: Hehe, really?! Haven't seen him for AAAGGEESSS.
WENDY: Come round
DAN: I might, but I'm tired, I wanna go to bed.
ARNIE: Who with?
DAN: Who's offering, hehe
ARNIE: Humm
DAN: Hands up who wants to go to bed with me
DAN:....
DAN: No thought not. Haha.
DEB: i`ll give natalie a ring
DAN: A wedding ring? You getting married?
DEB: ha ha screw off
DAN: Sheesh. Hey Debs, you looking forward to starting college then?
DEB: not really
DAN: Oh... enthusiasm all round then.
DEB: i'm liking the holidays to much but college should be quite cool better
than school any way
DAN: Yeah it is, I spent a year at college, was alright.
ARNIE: You going on to university?
DEB: probably if i get in
DAN: Yeah 'cos people don't know yet, she got good exam results ya see.
Quite a few A*s.
ARNIE: Ahh clever one huh?
DAN: Well, dunno about that, fluke more like, hehe
ARNIE: See who got the brains in your family
DAN: Hey! Watch it!
DEB: thanks arnie
STEVE: I agree deb, smooch
DEB: thanks
DAN: Haha, arhghh, my head.. the desk.. *BANG*
ARNIE: Dan likes Earth, Wind and Fire dont you
DAN: Yeah they kick arse. "Booogiie wonderlaaaannddd". "Let's Groove" was
cool as well.
NICK: Dan does disco stuff now ya see.
ARNIE: I see out of the more modern stuff are we?
DAN: No, just mix disco and new stuff, it's cool.
ARNIE: your fave song is coming back out dan.
DAN: Teardrops 97?
ARNIE: Yeh you got it?
DAN: Certainly have, it's good.
NICK: Who remixed "Lets all chant" for 1996?
DAN: Gusto me thinks.
NICK: Gusto?
DAN: Yes, on Judge Jules label?
NICK: Positiva?
DAN: No his other one, Manifesto.
NICK: His labels piss me off, the CD covers are all the same
DAN: Yeah, I was saying that, when you've got like 30 CDs, and they all have
the same inlay, it gets a bit of a pain in the buttocks.
NICK: Any way your an old fart you have "Lets all chant" by bloody Michael
Zager on vinyl still!
DAN: So?
NICK: The original as well
DAN: Yep, a bit scratched though.
NICK: Whats your favourite Shalamar song?
DAN: Erm, "Night To Remember".
NICK: Okay, D.I.S.C.O
DAN: Hehe, been listening to that CD I lent ya?
NICK: The best disco album in the world...ever?
DAN: That's the one
STEVE: Debs d.i.s.c.o
DEB: what?
DAN: Oh hang on, lemme remember (she's not by the way, she's a bitch :)
DEB: fu
DAN: Haha, just turned her off a second, these slow typers have to be
quicker to out-smart me. D I S C O, erm... gotta get the tune into my head,
"D I S C O.... dum dum dum.... D I S C O... D I S C O...dum dum.. D I S C O,
she is DISCO! D I S C O, she is disco, etc... D I S C O.... she is D
delirious, she is I incredible, she is S superficial, she is C, complicated
(no way!), she is OOOOOOOOooohhhh..
STEVE: next bit
DAN: "she is D, desireable, she is I, irrisistable, she is s, super sexy,
she is C, such a cu*ey" haha, right. Can't say the C word on here
STEVE: What CUTEY?
DAN: ahh don't say that terrible word. It's banned from here, so quit it.
STEVE: Soz
DAN: So is "Soz", sod off.
STEVE: So..rry.
WENDY: Dan you can remember that song, your the old git!
DAN: No my dear, it's musical knowledge. It was made in 1980, I was but a
baby.
DEB: i wasnt born!
STEVE: I was only a few months old.
DAN: Nobody cares, get on with it.
STEVE: heh heh sorry
ARNIE: Tell me more about the crappy Barbie song
DAN: yeah I've got the damn thing, it kind of sucks,
ARNIE: i wish, i'd buy two
DAN: Dirty goose!
NICK: why would you need two?
ARNIE: Haaaaa well you never know.
DAN: You do
ARNIE: Do ya?
DAN: If I say you do, you do!
ARNIE: Sorry, what you say goes right
DAN: And don't you forget it!! hehe. By the way Deb, have a guess who
likes you?
DAN: /\/\PRIVATE MESSAGE TO DEB/\/\
DEB: no way! really?
DAN: Haha, yep
DEB: wow
DAN: Pleased?
DEB: hes nice yes how do you know?
DAN: He told me!
DEB: oh no
DAN: Hehe, well I've told you, I said I wouldn't. But 'nuff said.
DEB: i know who likes you
DAN: Hehe, who?
DEB: Claire
DAN: Claire? Who's she?
DEB: Er, long hair, big boobs
DAN: Hahah, oh god, can't say I've noticed.
DEB: she does gymn a lot
DAN: Well I'll take your word for it.
NICK: Heard about Arnies little water experience yesterday?
ARNIE: NOOOO!!!!!!
DAN: No I didn't! What?!
NICK: Had a shower with his new girl friend
DAN: Haha, really, hmmnn....
ARNIE: We didnt get up to anything, just a bit of a play
DAN: Say no more my friend.
ARNIE: Yeh.
DAN: Right, ARNIE!
ARNIE: What?
DAN: Put your top back on!
ARNIE: Haa sorry.
NICK: That your favourite joke right now?
DAN: Yeah do I use it too much?
NICK: Yes, we were in the pub the other day, from behind me I heard "Put
your trousers back on" and then we all turned around, and theres him
laughing his head off with K-k-k-k-karen
DAN: Well it's funny
NICK: Alright
DAN: If immature.
NICK: Certainly is.
ARNIE: Where is karen kah kah kah these days?
DAN: Don't know!
NICK: I saw her this morning actually
DAN: Did she tell you to F off?
NICK: No
DAN: Wow there's a first.
STEVE: Heard Oasis new album?
DAN: Not THAT new now is it?
STEVE: Still number two in the album charts
DAN: Is it, dunno haven't heard it.
STEVE: Its alright
DAN: I don't like Oasis, so that's why I haven't heard it.
STEVE: I saw bone head and whitey on TV this morning, reckoning "its the
hardest biggest selling" and all that
DAN: Bonehead and whitey? haha
STEVE: The other band members
DAN: Oh right, well whats in a name right? hahaha, eeeh.
ARNIE: Hey if your sisters going to uni then she'll have to pay now.
DAN: Yes, better start saving Deb
DEB: get mam and dad to pay
DAN: Scrounger. :) But what's the big deal with this paying? So they
should pay for it! Why the hell should any one else pay for their
education?
DEB: because students are the future arent they?
STEVE: Do stuff for the country
DAN: Bollocks, you're telling me, you get higher education 'for the
country'?! No way! You get it for YOU, and YOU only. So you can damn well
pay for it yourself, like they do in other areas of the world. This country
puzzles me you know, like all these benefits people get, and then complain
it's not enough, if you think about it, why should you get child income
support, free council housing, dole money? It all keeps upping the taxes
for workers, it's costing us a damn fortune.
NICK: alright as long as you dont say anything controvertial
DAN: Hehe, but it makes me sick, "it's not enough" they get free housing,
all the bills paid, free dental work, free health care, which they say is
"free" but it's not, some one has to pay for it, i.e the people that pay
taxes. I don't have a problem with some one who's lost their job and is on
benefits who is geuinely looking for work, I sympathise greatly, but the
ones who have about 4 kids, on a council estate, about 17 years old, neither
work, complaining their dole money isn't enough, they piss me off so much,
get off your lazy fat arses and do it yourself, this is the ONLY country
that provides so much benefits.
NICK: Okay then by the way you can't take the piss out of my Name any more
DAN: Why not?
NICK: cos your girl friend has the same name
DAN: Hehe, I never said she was my girlfriend.
NICK: Oh yeah course not, even though you hold hands and do all that lovey
dovey crap shes not your girl friend
DAN: Never said she wasn't either, keep yur nose out.
NICK: Okay
STEVE: Why dont you stand up nick, hes pushing you around :-)
DAN: Because he knows I'll kick the crap out of him later on :)
NICK: Yes!
ARNIE: Which Nichola is it?
DAN: Haha, well it's only likely to be bloody one of them isn't it, I mean
let's face it, the other one is a bit of a... bitch, haha
ARNIE: Yeh true. Just making sure.
DAN: Good
ARNIE: So your over your never dating again phase are you?
DAN: Maybe... she is nice though 'aint she?
ARNIE: A bit quiet, but shes alright yeh
DAN: Cool.
ARNIE: Hows Skewiff coming on?
DAN: Good, we're up to issue 3 now.
ARNIE: Its a good mag.
DAN: A bit thin right now, but getting there. Did you see the holidays
feature in issue 2?
ARNIE: I cant remember
DAN: Safe Sex guide "holidays are for fun, relaxing, getting a tan, and - if
we're lucky - sex with some gorgeou stud/chick!". Haha
ARNIE: Lucky us!
DAN: Yeah, I'm having no holiday romances
ARNIE: Nikki aint going?
DAN: No. It also says "don't push yourself onto anyone, even though you're
randy as hell, it doesn't mean they are", hehe, nice wording, wonder what
replaces Skewiff when we're all fired? :)
ARNIE: Haa
NICK: That with Hallam FM?
DAN: Certainly is, and Viking FM and "The New 96.3, Aire FM".
NICK: Say hello to Scotty McClough for me
DAN: I'll give him a big snog right, haha?
NICK: Ha tell him Nick Abbot knows where he is!
DAN: Hmmnn....
NICK: Ever met Scotty?
DAN: No, seems a nice man though.
NICK: Really?! Compared to what?!
DAN: Hehe.... no comment.
ARNIE: So you're off to Ibiza on the 19th of Sept huh?
DAN: I am, which means Nicky boy is responsable if this issue is late.
NICK: Your back on the 5th of October!
DAN: So?
NICK: Arhg.
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Right.
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Nick, ever seen Groundhog day?
NICK: Yeah
DAN: Haha.
NICK: Dan guess how much Tony Blair gets a year?
DAN: Couldn't attempt to guess, tell me
NICK: 140 grand a year
DAN: That all?!
DEB: what do you mean 'that all'!
DAN: Well, yeah it's a nice wage, but it 'aint much considering he's the
ruler of one of the world leaders, wow.
NICK: Yeah I thought he would get more than that
DAN: yep.
WENDY: Ever seen Seinfield?
DAN: Yeah it's cool
STEVE: Larry Sanders is good as well
DAN: Yeah thats a funny show. Hey Arnie, a friend of mine moved around
here, right, the next street, know what she said?! "A bit rough this area
isn't it?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARNIE: Haaa your area, rough!!??
DAN: That's what I thought, I've lived here over a year, I've never seen any
trouble here, ever, it's the nicest place I've lived in my life.
ARNIE: Yeh its a nice area she must be a bit mad
DAN: Mnn.
ARNIE: Nick heard you passed your drivers test
NICK: Yes, now I need a car
ARNIE: My new one is cool
DAN: A Polo
ARNIE: Yeh, smooth baby,
DAN: Bit too small for me, especially the other day when we went out for a
run, three people in the back, two in the front, and me sandwiched inbetween
two people on the back seat.
ARNIE: Only on the way there, you swapped on the way back
DAN: Well you dropped me off before the others didn't you.
ARNIE: Yeh because we went to the pub, and you went home to bed you lazy git
DAN: So?
ARNIE: It was quater to two on a Monday afternoon, and you went to bed.
DAN: Yeah, so sue me!
ARNIE: Haaa.
NICK: Where'd you lot go?
DAN: Just to McDonalds on Teesside park, and then to Middlesbrough.
ARNIE: I had to be back at work for 3 though
DAN: I only do 9-12 on Mondays though, so I get the afternoon off.
ARNIE: Smarmy sod
DAN: Hehe.
NICK: Band names
DAN: What of them?
NICK: Friend of mine is in one, they need a name
DAN: Oh I see, hmmnn... "Sod Off!" brilliant name
NICK: Ha! Sod off?
DAN: Yes, who'd forget that?
NICK: Good one
DAN: Spider in my room last night, the size of a horse!!!
ARNIE: Haa, not exagerating at all?
DAN: Well, maybe a bit. But I stood on it with my heavy shoes, and spread
it across the carpet, what a mess.
ARNIE: Urgh, just pick it up and throw it outside man
DAN: No way, I'm scared of spiders, the size of them this year, wow. Deb
spotted it didn't ya?
DEB: yes i saw it come in the door
DAN: And you ran to the door "arghh, spider spider!!"
DEB: you did as well
DAN: Well, yeah I know.
DEB: I'm not terrified of them but i dont like them
DAN: Get lost! I had a daddy-long legs and pretended it was a spider last
week, and put it near you, you yelled at me "GET IT AWAAAYY!!!" haha
DEB: okay then maybe i dont like them at all
DAN: I don't mind daddy-long-legs (what a STUPID name for a flying insect).
WENDY: They look pretty stupid as well
DAN: Yes, they do. Flying along with their legs all stuck back blowing
along
WENDY: Dangling
NICK: And the daddy long legs as well
DAN: Haha. Hang on, phone...
ARNIE: Never off the phone that boy
NICK: I know, glued to his ear
WENDY: I know, he should have been born a woman, he uses the phone like one
NICK: Whats a woman use the phone like?
WENDY: Well usually men use a phone for a quick message okay, but women talk
like seeing a friend on them
ARNIE: Yeh you girl folk talk to much!
WENDY: I know
ARNIE: And think about sex too much you pervs
WENDY: So. But every girl does when there younger
ARNIE: Do they?
WENDY: Yes, when I was younger, I thought about sex all the time
DEB: I used to, like 24 hours a day
STEVE: Me too! heh heh
WENDY: Do boys usually?
ARNIE: Well not 24 hours a day, it's always there I guess, but not at the
front of your mind usually
NICK: when you said think about it, did you mean doing it, or the act?
DEB: both
WENDY: Yes shes got it right, both like even imagining it physically you
know
ARNIE: And they say men are the pervs!
NICK: Ha!
WENDY: Debbie
DEB: yes
WENDY: Wheres that brother of yours gone?
DEB: don't know, shout him DAN!!
WENDY: Daaaaannn!!!!!!!
ARNIE: I don't want him to come back :-)
NICK: That was nice
DAN: Well tough, I'm back!
ARNIE: Took your time, who was it?
DAN: Nik
ARNIE: Thought so, was it all "OK lovely, kissy kissy smoochy pups" haaaa
DAN: Haha, ......maybe...ahem!! I'm meeting her tommorow at 12
ARNIE: What you gonna do?
DAN: Going somewhere.
ARNIE: I see
DAN: Hehe, she's been swimming with her mates
ARNIE: Cool where at?
DAN: Didn't ask. Stockton I'd persume.
NICK: You went to Wet N Wild with her last week
DAN: Yeah, it was cool, ARNIE!
ARNIE: Yeh
DAN: I went down the black hole, hehe
ARNIE: Ummmm dirty git
DAN: Hahahah!!! It's a bloody water slide!!!
ARNIE: A bloody======//////THE-POINT\\\\\\=======
DAN: AAAAAARGGHH!!! THAT IS SICK!!
ARNIE: Haaa heee heee
WENDY: You are the pervy one Arn
ARNIE: Any way, which friend did she go with? The devil worshiper?
DAN: The very one.
ARNIE: She's wierd, tell your bird to stop hanging around with her
DAN: SHUT UP!!
ARNIE: hah what?
DAN: Don't call her a bird! You dick head
ARNIE: Haaa OK sorry!
DAN: Should think so to!! Bird?! BIRD?!! She's not a damn sea-gull or a
pigeon, show some respect.
ARNIE: Slag to shag?
DAN: Hehe, don't. But yeah, her friend is a bit odd, she worships the
"horny lord" or something
DAN:...hahahahaha, why the silence?!!
ARNIE: I'm in tears laughing, THE HORNY LORD!
DAN: Oh, sorry, Horned lord, I think, hahahaha.
STEVE: Guy from Alpha FM comes to my college ya know
DAN: Who?
STEVE: Brian Lister
DAN: Oh yeah, I have a friend who works at Alpha
STEVE: Who is he?
DAN: Mark Brooks
STEVE: right
DAN: Yeah, Mark's a good friend of mine.
NICK: /\/\PRIVATE MESSAGE TO DAN/\/\
DAN: Yeah, I'll check it next.
NICK: Okay
ARNIE: So it's Wednesday evening now, you go away Friday morning huh?
DAN: Yes, tommorow is the last day of business stuff
ARNIE: What times you working tommorow?
DAN: 10-12, only two hours.
ARNIE: I'm doing 9-3, you want to meet at 12 for lunch?
DAN: Can't I'm meeting Nikki
ARNIE: Oh yeh. Nick you want to?
NICK: Alright.
ARNIE: What you and Nikki getting up to?
DAN: wouldn't you like to know, what you and Nick getting up to? hehe
ARNIE: Ahh why you going with her? Wouldn't you rather be with your
friends?
DAN: Hmmn... no. Haha
ARNIE: But it won't be as good with out you
DAN: So you two will just sit there, in silence, like the sad pathetic
individuals you are, with out my company to liven things up?
ARNIE: Yeh
NICK: yep
DAN: Well what can I say?... tough.
ARNIE: Fine be that way.
DAN: Nhhyyaa.
ARNIE: Tell me a joke and I'll let you off
DAN: the type of person that kicks homeless people, "tell me a
fu***** joke and I'll give you a quid", haha
ARNIE: hahaaa oh god.
DEB: i hurt my foot last night
STEVE: Ohh did you?
DAN: Good.
NICK: H ha your a nasty sod
DAN: Oh shove your head up your carcus. No, I'm not nasty to be nasty, I'm
just honest!
DEB: cut my foot on some glass YOU left
DAN: Me?!
DEB: yes
DAN: When I smashed that glass?
DEB: yes
DAN: Well it's tough to clean it all up.
STEVE: Cloning scares me
DAN: Won't happen, if it does, we'll be long gone.
STEVE: But this 'super race' they say about, all blue eyed and blonde haired
people, with perfect personalities and super brains.
DAN: Haha, you can't use the words "super brains" in the same sentance as
"blue eyed and blonde haired"! hahaha
DEB: hey!
ARNIE: Cheeky git!
DAN: Nah, a world full of blondes would be a nightmare, want to get us dark
horses (huh?) in big number, we're too few and far between these days.
ARNIE: Your just odd, no one wants black hair and brown eyes apart from
gothics
NICK: ha ha
DAN: Sod off!! Gothics?! That said, I've gone out looking 'gothicish' at
times, unaware, I've gotta learn, black jeans, black t-shirt, black shoes
don't go with black hair and brown eyes. I've done that with out realising
before.
DEB: blondes have more fun
DAN: Define 'fun'
DEB: just in life
DAN: How? How can your hair colour determine the amount of enjoyment you
get out of life?
DEB: get more attention
DAN: No you don't. And if you're on about sex, then that's the thing that
has got blondes the bad reputation they have, and if I wanted to "get laid"
then I don't need blonde hair to do that, I'd look majorly odd with blonde
hair.
DEB: yeah you would
DAN: So your argument is crap.
DEB: okay well i dont want to argue tonight
DAN: Ok, well that's all folks!
ARNIE: Alright have a nice holiday dan!
DAN: See ya if I dont see you before
ARNIE: Bye
DAN: Than
DAN:
+RIPMAG+